Driving Through the Storm

Spirit’s Nudge

Psalm 107:29, “God stilled the storm to a whisper…”

Driving through a storm is an interesting experience. I’ve been either riding or driving through snowstorms my entire life. The lake effect snows from Lake Erie could bury a car in a matter of minutes and the frozen slush storms of Connecticut flips cars like ladybugs on a windowsill. The difference between the east coast storms and those here in the wild west is the solitude of being the only car on the road for long stretches of time and knowing that the nearest “neighbor” should one be needed is a very long, cold walk.

Churches across America have been driving through the storm of this pandemic far longer than any of us ever thought we would, and the journey has been one wild ride. We went from being buried in a shut-down to being flipped on our tops with technology. What we did not experience, however, was driving through this storm alone. We have had tremendous prayer and hope throughout this journey. And now, we are on the other side of the storm. The clouds are parting, and we are able to see the road ahead. What we must now do is share that clear vision with the rest of the community. The difference between snowstorms and this pandemic storm is that once the snow and slush were cleared, our road looked very, very different. Where there were intersections there are now round-a-bouts. Where there were Y’s in the road there are now dead ends. The landscape under the snow and slush has completely changed.

This is where goal setting for our church comes in. The foundation of our faith remains the same however the next steps of re-building have yet to be determined. When our church meets for our annual January meeting on January 16, we will work together to determine our goals for 2022 that will move our church forward. The most important thing to keep in mind in setting these goals is to make them attainable. If I had any doubt that I would be able to return safely to Red Loge on January 4, I would never have set out in a Colorado snowstorm. But I checked the radar, checked with highway patrol, and set my benchmarks for travel – all attainable. We will do the same thing when we set our goals on January 16.

The two guiding questions for our goal setting will be, first, what should we do and second, what can we do. Our “shoulds” and our “cans” might be very different. If they are, we will back up and see if the “should” is attainable; not unlike re-routing in a storm when a canyon is impassible. I invite you to take the next week and seriously pray about these goals. Begin your prayer with, “Lord, I think we should…” and then ask, “Lord, show me how I can help this happen.” These will be our guiding prayers throughout the next year. Together we will find our way through this new post-pandemic storm landscape.

Peace,

Pastor Pam

February 7, 2020

(trigger warning, this blog post is about suicide)

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest. ”

— Psalm 22

I’m beginning to think that suicide is like polio, a disease that strikes us when we are least expecting it, with no warning and total devastation, except…we don’t have a Jonas Salk. And rarely do we get the chance for an iron lung.

I first learned of suicide as a “thing” when I was 11 years old. Someone’s uncle had died by suicide and I remember being mystified. Shortly after that the hit TV series M*A*S*H came out and the theme song, “Suicide is Painless” became a tune that we all hummed…without even realizing the words. And then when I was about 13 a close family member made their first suicide attempt…and I began life under the pall of the suicide threat for the next 30 years. My family member finally found the right kind of help and is still with us… for today. My own journey with suicide lasted from 1996-1998; that was two very scary years that I hope never to repeat. With the right medication, a great psychiatrist and a good divorce attorney I got through it. I’m one of the lucky ones.

Our children are killing themselves. There’s no easy way to say that. As a Trauma Chaplain I held the hands of too many parents whose children had died by suicide. In the shock of the moment they were, and may very well still be, completely perplexed. On a rare occasion a family member would admit that there had been multiple attempts, but for the most part it was a first, and horrifically regrettable, only attempt.

We have absolutely no idea why the human brain decides to self-destruct. We know some of the stories; bullying, relationship failure, financial failure, addiction, pharmaceuticals, school failure, a host of mental illness diagnosis; but in the end we do not know what causes the human brain to choose death. It seems to simply self-destruct.
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As I sit by my window in the early morning hours waiting for the sun to rise and the snow to start, I open my hometown paper…and there’s another one. 30 years old, a fellow classmate of my nephews from back home. Gone too soon. I text my daughter-in-law just to say hi…but really…it’s to check in…and I find myself humming an all too familiar tune…”Suicide is painless It brings on many changes”…but we can no longer take or leave it if we please…Amen.

Peace, 
Pastor Pam

January 17, 2020

“The stillness within will never be greater than the stillness with-out.”
What a wonderful nudge to sit with as I watch the sun remain in the sky for just a few more minutes today than yesterday…and the day before that…and the day before that…
It is such a relief when I realize that the sun has hung in the sky for a little longer today. A few more minutes to enjoy the stillness within my soul, which in turn will give me the ability to embrace the stillness on the outside. To embrace it and to create it.
Of course, the idea of creating stillness on the outside of our lives begs the question, “Can we ever be completely still?” It runs along the idea of total self-sufficiency. Depending on the level of “off the grid” that one would seek to live, we are challenged to ever be fully self-sufficient. Just having a vehicle at our disposal requires some kind of dependence on others. Having access to communication, emergency services also requires even the mountainous of mountain people to reach out to society. The same is true for the stillness that lies “with-out” as the Spirit put it. While we walk (or ski or snowshoe) in the woods we may be away from the rumbles of vehicles, the ringing and dinging of phones, the ticking and tocking of clocks, we are still in the midst of a natural world that is completely full of the peaceful sounds of…stillness.
That stillness…in the natural world…water rushing over rocks, leaves falling from trees, limbs swaying in the wind…those are the sounds of the Spirit with-out. And THAT stillness…THAT stillness can only be realized when the stillness within is just that…still.
As the sun hangs in the sky just a little longer, the temptation to fill that time with busy-ness, errands, the “one more thing” of the day is a temptation that in and of itself needs to be…stilled. Rather than filling those extra hours of sunlight with extra “things” on my calendar, I plan to fill them with the sounds of stillness…and a deeper relationship with the sounds of the stillness “with-out.” Amen.
Peace
Pastor Pam

December 14, 2019

I love discovering new roads in and around Red Lodge. I headed out Willow Creek Road the other day to pick up a “new to me” dining room table. What a view! Sometimes it takes a trip down a different road to help us see what is right in front of us. As John the Baptist cried out to the people gathered at the river, “Prepare the way!” I wonder if he wasn’t saying, “Go a different way!” Or “Open your eyes along the way!”
That is what it takes, sometimes, to get us through this very difficult holiday season. Trying to figure out how to navigate the tricky relationship difficulties in our lives while celebrating the birth of the One who has come to heal all our tricky relationship difficulties is not easy. It takes a different way. Of course, I do not have the road map that guarantees anyone the correct way to navigate those relationships, but I do have a compass to help us stay on the road, to “keep it between the ditches” as we say back home. That compass is the one that points us to our “true north.”
That compass is prayer. Prayer in the form of stopping, breathing and saying, “Ok. You’ve got this, God.” Prayer in the form of crying out, “I just don’t know what to say next.” Prayer in the form of, “I know I can’t do this right now, so I’m stepping out.” And prayer in the form of listening for the still small voice to give us the next coordinate.
While driving down Willow Creek Road, I realized that even though I was driving my big ole’ truck, it was very slippery and I needed to navigate the twists and turns slowly and deliberately. The same can be said of navigating these painful and difficult relationships during this holiday season. Carefully…slowly…deliberately…using our compass of prayer to tell us when to turn, stop, and re-calibrate our way.
John the Baptist was the compass for Jesus, preparing the way for Him to come and be among us. If Jesus had someone to be His compass, well then I’d say that we certainly qualify to need one as well…and allowing Christ and the Spirit to be that compass through prayer is one of the best tools to take along on this precarious journey this season.
Peace
Pastor Pam

The Jaded Optimist

I started a women's retreat a few years back with the statement, "Welcome! I love doing women's retreats because it's the one place we can all be honest and admit that we are all train wrecks." One of the women took great offense and said she never considered herself a train wreck. By the end of the retreat, 3 days later, she took me aside and thanked me for the gut wrenching honesty of the weekend. And for helping her realize that she was just like the rest of us...a train wreck indeed...and now she knew how to start getting herself back on the tracks.

So…blogging. I had to Google it…What is blogging anyway? Why blog? Who blogs? Where do you blog? When do you blog? The answer kept coming up “Passion.” Ha! My passion! Wait…I have to pick one passion? For those of you who know me, I don’t “pick one” of anything. I am a person of many. Many passions, many interests, many experiences, many adventures…many stories. Ahhhhh my stories. Now THERE is a passion that I can hang on to. Stories of life. Stories of healing. Stories of lessons learned along the way. The passionate thread that weaves those stories together is truth. Just be honest. How many times have I said that…to myself as well as to others? I hope to take you to places through this blog where you never thought you’d see yourself going. That’s how I preach…delving into a sacred text in a very different way than most theologians traditionally look at it.

Peace,

Pam